How To Handle Failing At Your Business....
Every Girlboss has that moment….
That moment that you realize that what you’re doing…isn’t working.
“Why can’t I figure this out?”
“How the heck does this work?”
“Am I just never gonna get what I want?”
I’ve been there…done that…and I STILL have moments where I struggle with those same thoughts….
And guess what?
I’ve learned a LOT about what failure actually means and not what I thought it meant.
Listen, if you’re brave enough to try doing something you’ve never done before, you have to know that failure is part of the journey to success.
The people who have all the things you want, have just failed more than you.
Now if you don’t believe me, then this episode is just for you.
Many of my friends see me and they assume that I’ve had it really easy OR that I haven’t really experienced a lot of failures. However, I’ve only gotten this far in my life BECAUSE I’ve failed.
It took me 6 years to graduate with a 4 year college degree
It took me 3 years to finish a 2 year graduate program
It took me 3 years to find a job in the field that I studied (Marriage and Family Therapy)
Then I ended up completely leaving the field I spent six figures to enter into just to freaking sell shampoo from my phone… lol
As a child, I was abused by several adults and then internalized their actions to think it meant that I was a bad person and not deserving of love (that wasn’t so much my failure - but it was definitely something that contributed to my mental health challenges that prevented me from showing up in my life since I often blamed others for my lack of success)
I was arrested my sophomore year in college after making a REALLY dumb choice because of encouragement by my friends to break the law (DEFINITELY choose your friends wisely!!)
I failed my GRE (the test you take to get into graduate school) the first time I took it
I started a Non Profit Organization, raised money for it but didn’t reach the threshold I needed to actually get my licensing and so thus - the non profit failed
I struggled with paying my rent, student loans, and other bills (even though I was working 4 different jobs! Ya’ll know the struggle!) and was thisclose to getting evicted….
And as a result of not having the money to pay for my rent, I had to raise money with a GoFundMe in order to pay to break my lease…
The first year in my network marketing business - I made a total of $45 dollars, gained 0 business partners, and felt like a total failure.
I failed my college math class 4 times.
Then I failed my graduate Statistics class TWICE - which ruined my 4.0 GPA that I worked 3 years to get…
And this is only the the things that I can think of right off the top of my head; I am sure there are more.
I didn’t get here by being a winner ALL THE TIME. I’ve failed a LOT and I’m pretty sure I’m going to fail even MORE because failure is PART of success.
The only people who never fail, are the people who never try.
So when you fail, how can you think of it? Instead of thinking that failure means that YOU’RE a failure…. keep these things in mind…
What you DO can be a failure; but YOU can’t BE a failure.
Failure is something you DO - it’s not something you ARE. So instead of calling yourself a “loser” or pitying yourself (something I am always tempted to do when I don’t get what I want…. remind yourself that you are actually NOT a failure. You can only fail at the actions you take; it is not something you can become.
Failure could mean that you’re simply not committed.
A large reason I failed my first year in business was because I wasn’t positive that I actually was going to be successful at my business. For the longest time, I thought that people who made money in my industry - were the people at the top. Anyone at the bottom or in the “middle” ranks didn’t make any money. Now some days, I thought I could make money and on those days I showed up consistently. However, on the days when I doubted if I would actually make any money - I didn’t do my job. I wouldn’t find new people to talk to, I wouldn’t follow up with anyone, etc. You can’t succeed at anything, if you’re not consistent. As a child, I was a gymnast….I wouldn’t have ever learned how to do a back flip (which this took me YEARS to learn because I was terrified of falling on my head….) if I didn’t consistently practice. Have you actually decided that you’re going to work your business? Have you decided that even if you try really hard AND you fail - that you’re STILL going to consistently share what you do? Or are you only going to stick with it if you get what you want the FIRST or SECOND time you try? Commit to the PROCESS or don’t. But understand that you will fail if you don’t make up your mind to work rain or shine.
You have the wrong relationship with failure.
Listen, you and I need to understand the REAL meaning behind failure. It’s inevitable and anyone who has EVER went for something has also experienced not getting it. However, many of us don’t see the GOOD that comes with failure. Or we know that it’s good “intellectually” but we don’t UNDERSTAND WHY FAILURE IS NECESSARY. We have to change what failure makes us FEEL and change how we respond to it. Failure is communication - but if you don’t understand what it’s communicating, you’re bound to give up and lose out on the things you want from life.